Honest moment: I named this blog “She Who Abides” and abiding is something I struggle with… A LOT. I’m not even going to front y’all, I REALLY struggle, but I think that naming my blog isn’t a standard of who I am but more so who I’m becoming and I wish the same for you too.
Why is there so much shame in being the current version of who you are? We are all works in progress, a growing vision of our master’s masterpiece. We want to sell a version of ourselves that is not necessarily true to make ourselves and others see us better. When are we going to get comfortable in the confusion? When are we going to see that every brush stroke is making the perfection of the finished product.
“I pray with great faith for you, because I’m fully convinced that the One who began this glorious work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you and will put his finishing touches to it until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ!” – Philippians 1:6
When will we get so confident that the paint strokes we would normally say are mistakes, become to us a part of the beauty that lies in the bigger picture. Problem is: we don’t can’t see past the beginning brush strokes. It looks ugly. It looks like there’s no way to make this beautiful. You made a mistake that you don’t see how it could be redeemed for beauty. It’s frustrating, difficult even, to try to figure out how this will become a masterpiece. But baby, that’s not your job.
“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” – 1 Peter 4: 12-13 MSG
That’s why you don’t understand why this is happening to you. This is the reason why you don’t see how God is going to use this. This is why you have been through the things that you’ve been through (or still are going through) even when you didn’t understand. It is the ARTIST job to facilitate the perfection of HIS art. We aren’t going to understand every stroke because we don’t have authority over the brush. But thank God that He has the authority to use every bad and sucky situation in our lives to make things beautiful. There are so many things He wants to create through you, but you have to stop trying to figure out “why” he used orange there and pink here or why he put that line there. Just start trusting that every single thing IS WHERE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE.
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” – Genesis 50:20 (Joseph said this after his brothers through him into slavery. Years later he became the second most powerful man in Egypt and his brothers had to answer to him.)
I think as we show our works in progress to other people, we begin to encourage other people to trust the artist too. They see that we are being worked on just as they are. And every single stroke on the canvas of their life is being used to create the picture of a beautiful work of art: just trust the Artist and see it through.
Know this: God is the God of your struggle. God is there to uplift you, encourage you, build you, and love you. And sometimes these things don’t manifest themselves in ways that you might think they will. But it is for us to abide or remain in the presence of God to be able to hear His whisper and guide. Here are ways you can do this:
- Get involved in a community of believers. You cannot do this alone. Sometimes people see things in you that you don’t see. They can encourage you, lift you up, correct you, edify you. Please be mindful that you need people that are actively walking with the Lord. Watch and see if they have a kingdom point of view, not their own.
2. Wrestle the word for yourself. Stop looking for people to interpret it for you, instead try this: Read through the word and when you find something you don’t know ask God about it. Watch Him show you.
3. Pray literally all the time. Prayer isn’t always long and wearisome. Prayer sometimes looks like quick conversations with God like, “Lord I’m really struggling with my thoughts today, please help me remember what you say about me.”
4. Remind yourself of God’s presence. Remember whenever you leave church or reading your bible or devotional God doesn’t leave when you close the book/app/front door. Be reminded that you are always in God’s presence. Be committed to seeing Him throughout the day and ask Him to help Him see You.
5. Work through hard feelings. Stop being led by your emotions. Following you’re emotions will not allow you to be the person God has called you to be. They won’t work for you, YOU WILL. Acknowledge them, but also know that they will not always be a determinant of who you are or what you should be doing. But what they will do (I’m already believing you’ll make the adjustment!) is determine where you will be, so work hard to push past them when they don’t line up with what God told you.
6. Sit with God. You don’t always have to speak. Just sit with Him: this is something I’m trying out and it’s hard but I’m believing as I keep going I’ll see progress.
7. Put on the Armor of God: Put on the breastplate of righteousness (knowing that God sees you “like” Jesus since He died in your place, You are righteous), the helmet of salvation (guard your mind and protect your thoughts with the truth that you are God’s and He is you), the belt of truth (Secure yourself with God’s Word which is truth. Fasten and familiarize yourself with what it says about God and you), the shield of faith (defend attacks with faith! Not fear, worry, anxiety, or doubt. Even when it’s hard make the decision to trust God through the storm) the shoes of peace (make peace wherever you go, allow the Holy Spirit to enter every room you walk in), and the sword of the Spirit (Attack with God’s word! When a lie comes, look up what the Bible says about it. Speak against it and believe God’s word.)
8. Be filled with the Spirit. Let Him lead you. Trust in Him. Depend on Him. He will not lead you astray.
Whether you struggle with sex, masturbation, lustful thoughts, lying, stealing, anxiety, superwoman/superman syndrome, drugs, alcoholism, pride, racism, cursing or falling short of the mark in anyway: you are not alone. I struggle in most of these areas too. I’m so much more that short of perfection. I have messed up in almost every way imaginable in my thoughts, my actions, my motives, my disobedience, my blatant disrespect for God and other people He has given me in life, and that’s just this past year, shoot, this past MONTH alone. God has every right to label me a failure, but because of Jesus, I don’t have to face the consequences of my mistakes or even become engulfed in the notion that I am what they are, cause I’m not. In Christ we are a new creation, God has already delivered me but it’s my job, and brothers and sisters it’s all of our jobs, to walk in them.
I know you feel like a failure. You feel as if you cannot be used by God, You feel like you have fallen to far away but you are not my love. My dear brother or sister, our Daddy loves us so much. Believe what He says about you, pick up that faith you left or pick up the faith you want to have and run back to Him and who He has MADE you to be. If you never have had a relationship with Jesus and you want to start now or you think it’s too late for you, or you just don’t know how, I want you to know that this is not a coincidence that you are reading this and that Jesus is welcoming and waiting for you because your time is now beloved. So now pray (prayer is a conversation with God) it can be awkward at first but know that He is there, He sees you, He hears you, and He knows you and has known you since He made you with this moment in mind since the beginning of time itself.
He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to save us, all of humanity because we were separated from Him by our mistakes called our sin. He died on a cross, so that we may be able to live in harmony with Him in heaven when our lives come to an end. This is an altar call, come to the altar, cause His arms are open wide. Forgiveness was bought with the blood that Jesus shed when He died. But He didn’t stay dead. Can you believe that? Jesus didn’t just die, He rose again. God raised Him from the grave and gave Him the power to save everyone who chooses to believe in Him. But we must choose, for God will not make us believe.
When we accept and believe that He died and rose again for us, we are saved, set free from punishment in hell, which is a lifetime of death and time spent away from our loving Father. This is not to scare you, but to educate you on the truth of what it means to believe in and follow Jesus Christ. Come to Him now daughter and son. There will come a time when every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord when all of this is over, have a chance while you still can to do that while you are still alive to praise Him and build a relationship with Him.
“because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9
“After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2 For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3 Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4 I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. 5 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.” – John 17: 1-5
Pray for Him to accept you into His kingdom, that you turn away from all your mistakes, and you believe that Jesus’ sacrifice on a cross was more than enough to save you from your sin. Believe and walk in your son/daughter-ship beloved.
Baby, God isn’t finished with me and my dearest, he sure isn’t finished with you. Repent and allow Him to refine you. Repent and forget, because He does. Walk in freedom that the things that have happened to you are not a mistake but the started strokes for your finished product art piece.
Be open and available to share your story, because there are brothers and sisters around the world who struggle with these too. Be the light, show them how God is painting you into something radiantly beautiful. You are quite literally a work in progress masterpiece. You are already beautiful, so walk in it. Stop looking at what colors you think don’t work well, or what things you would have left out: they are a part of you. Just because you aren’t there YET doesn’t mean God is finished with you. He hasn’t put the paintbrush down.
Let others see you as you become, show them just how God can use someone like you to make a beautiful work of art. Show them that they too, have the Master Artist working in their life and He can meet what they have “messed up” and attribute it to the uniqueness of their particular piece.
“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me: your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” – Psalm 138:8
Stop looking at your mess as a creative block and see it as a building block for your projected beauty. Work through the mess, work through the hard things, push past the fear because on the other side is what God has for you. Throw off shame and be confident in your “messy” because it’s a part of your story; and you, yes you, are God’s unrepeatable masterpiece.
“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:
Don’t give up; don’t be impatient;
be entwined as one with the Lord.[a]
Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope.
Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!” -Psalm 27:14 TPT
I love you boo 🤍,
Kaitlin.
she who abides. 